There are parts of my passion for those enslaved in the commercial sex industry that often confuses others (and, at times, even myself). I say that it is my dream to help set free those who are held captive; to help them escape their captors. And that is my dream.
But what about the prostitutes? The question inevitably comes from those who are not educated about sex trafficking, and also from those who are. As the question swirls in my mind, I find that I do not have an answer.
I understand if they're physically held with chains and locks but if they aren't, they could just walk away. This one forces me to bite my lip and hold back the bitter words I want to spew out.
They have a choice. They could stop if they wanted. These
statements anger me because I've never considered that those in slavery
have a choice. Then I wonder how much truth they hold, and I have to
listen to some music and forget the debate for a while to keep my head
from exploding.
* * * * *
I think it's easy for those of us whom have never been in contact with the commercial sex industry to sit back and judge the women who provide the services, calling them horrible names and looking down upon them as if they're less than we are. It's understandable; when we think of the word "prostitution", we think of a scantily-clad woman standing in four-inch stilettos on a street corner as she lures men into buying the one thing she has to offer. We think of a half-naked woman dancing on a bar, hoping a man will approach her and ask to go into the back room. We think of a woman high on whatever her drug of choice; a "good for nothing" woman with no work ethic and no future.
We think of the women.
But one question no one seems to ask is, What about the consumers? What about the people who buy the prostitutes' services? Why don't we think about the men that use and abuse these women and shudder with disgust at the thought of them, rather than the other way around? These men treat these women with no respect, with no thought to how these acts must make her feel, and with no care at all to how this one sexual act with him will affect her for the rest of her life. And, yes, the individual men and experiences may begin to fade together and she will do what she must night after night, but those faces, those groping hands, those hardened hearts will continue to haunt her in her dreams.
* * * * *
But what about the prostitutes? I still see a broken and hurting person who needs help to shake off the devil on her back, whatever that may be. I still see a soul who needs the love and grace of God. And I will help her regardless.
I understand if they're physically held with chains and locks but if they aren't, they could just walk away. Physical chains and locks aren't the only means of keeping someone in bondage; there is also the need for drugs to avoid excruciating detoxification, lack of anywhere else to go and/or anything else to do for money to support families, and paralyzing fear. In the words of a former prostitute: "The psychological games he played
[with us] were just amazing." Not everything is so black and white.
They have a choice. They could stop if they wanted. Imagine being
a single mother with no education and five children who need you to
provide for them, but it's impossible to work because two of those
children are not yet in school and you cannot afford childcare. Even in
imagining that, I know many of you will claim that you would still never
sell yourself. Please don't speak out on something that you don't fully
understand from experience. It's so easy for us to judge from on high those in a pit of despair. Be careful.
So, my question to you, to American society, to the world; What about the consumers who keep the commercial sex industry booming? Remember, no industry can survive without people willing to pay to purchase the product for sale.
Today, I had the amazing privilege of attending CATCH court. CATCH stands for Changing Actions to Change Habits. Sponsored by DOMA, an organization whose motto is, "Empowering women. Embracing children.", CATCH court works to end the ever increasing number of women who enter the cycle of being trafficked on the streets or online, being arrested and incarcerated for solicitation of commercial sex, then being released back onto the streets only to return to the one thing they know: their pimp.
DOMA's website explains what CATCH court and Judge Herbert is trying to do:
"Judge Paul Herbert of Franklin County Municipal Court responded to
this cry [the cycle of trafficking, arrest and incarceration, and back to trafficking] after years of meeting women in court who were caught up in
Human Trafficking. CATCH is an innovative, voluntary, two-year program
to help ladies trapped in the sex trade. It utilizes a
restorative-justice approach to helping ladies through support,
encouragement, and accountability. It truly meets the needs of ladies in
recovery, and fosters a healthy environment for wholeness and
restoration.
"Franklin County Municipal Court created a specialty docket
court–Changing Actions to Change Habits, (“CATCH”), to address
multi-systemic needs of women charged with prostitution. 125 women were
screened, 96 assessed, 60 accepted and 40 committed to treatment for a
30 day minimum. They are over 18, charged with misdemeanor crimes of
solicitation, and/or prostitution, and request entrance into the 2 year
program. All serve convictions for non-violent crimes; all have suffered
violent crimes done unto them: 77% have traumatic brain injuries; all
were raped an average of 6 times; 90% were orphaned or abandoned by
their moms; 90% have PTSD. They have 13 arrests (on average) in a 2 yr
period; 100% are chemically dependent; 73% were juvenile runaways, the
average age is 34, grade level-10th.)"
Usually, when I attend an event that is about an issue near to my heart, I come home raving about it. Usually, my fingers are itching to write about my experience and I end up composing most of my post in my head during the car ride home. Usually, the words just seem to flow from my lips and my fingertips, as if I couldn't stop the sentences from forming even if I tried. Usually . . .
But today is not one of those "usual" days. I am having trouble writing a post about the experience that I had today. It's not because the issue at hand is not one dear to me, in fact, the complete opposite. It's not because I didn't enjoy the time that I spent at this event; I absolutely did. It's not because my heart is not breaking for those that I visited today because it most definitely is. It's not because God didn't work in miraculous ways, for I saw so much of Him in the ladies I met.
I have been trying for hours to figure out what exactly it is that I want to say about the wonderful women I saw today . . . and I have come up empty.
The women I met today are the most encouraging, courageous, humble,
loving, accepting people that I have ever seen. They laughed with one
another over jokes. They cried with one another when one lady shared
that her grandmother had recently passed away and that the funeral is
tomorrow. They rejoiced with one another at the mention of a woman being
95 days sober. They encouraged one another, freely giving their phone numbers so they can call one of them when they just need someone. They each felt what others in their tight-knit community
felt . . . and that is a beautiful thing.
Maybe I can't write about it because words don't even begin to describe what I felt in that room. Maybe it's because I don't feel that a simple blog post does justice to the women I heard speak today. Maybe it's because I don't understand all of what I learned. Maybe it's even because I don't want to acknowledge everything that I heard. Or maybe it's because I'm afraid that if I write about it, I'll "get it out of my system" and forget what I heard and saw and felt.
But I think, most of all, I can't write about it because I don't want to romanticize their stories. I want them to be raw and real and true, and I don't quite know how to do that. And, even if I did know how, I don't want to tell these stories for those ladies; they deserve to own their amazing stories of hope and redemption, and share them themselves.
These women are not numbers or statistics or probabilities. Rather, these women are human beings. They have hurt beyond my understanding. They have tragedy within their torn families. They have guilt and shame, just like anyone else. They have brokenness and vulnerability that they try to hide from each other, and even themselves, because this harsh world has taught them that they have no right to feel and that they need to bottle it up inside. They have anger, and every right to harbor that, yet they learn to forgive and let go.
These women amaze me to no end. Where the world sees useless prostitutes who will amount to nothing, I see beautiful children of God. Where the world sees a drug addict and dismisses her as good as dead, I see a woman full of promise and potential. Where the world sees the least of these and turns away, I see the least of these and meet them where they are and help them how I can.
"These women are so beautiful," she whispered to me. Nothing could be more true.
