All the Pieces...

I've heard the sayings, "Life is like a puzzle" and "The world is like a puzzle". People say that it is our goal in life to figure out where we are meant to be, what we are meant to do, where we fit in this world. That always scared me; I was afraid that I would never figure out what I was meant to do or who I was meant to be - what if I went all the way through life, trying to do good, but never doing what it is that I was meant to do? That thought terrified me.

"One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit"
   - Casting Crowns, Already There

This song gives me peace. God is already there, waiting for me to come home, excited to show me how everything fits together in the end. 

But sometimes He gives us little glimpses into how all the pieces fit while we're still here on earth. He's showing me right now. 

*     *     *     *     *

ONE DAY, THE DREAM BEGAN...

"One day, I received a letter in the mail - one of my favorite things in the world. But this one was special, different from junk mail and ads. This was an old-fashioned, handwritten letter! Its blue and red envelope spoke of far-off countries, places I'd never seen and most likely never would see (or so I thought at the time). The handwriting was blocky, like a child had written it, and I couldn't wait to see what it contained. My enthusiasm bursting, I ripped it open and eagerly looked to see who it was from: a girl from Uganda. A girl I'd never met. As I wrote her back and we continued to exchange letters, as I began to learn about her culture and people, as she taught me bits and pieces of her language, we became friends. And as we became friends, as I started to care for and lover her and her family, I fell in love with Uganda. I fell in love with its people who love Jesus with all their hears but own almost nothing, who put their trust and faith in Him though they sometimes don't know where their next meal will come from. It may seem odd to you that I can be so passionate about this country and its people; that I can love them so intensely, yet I've never even set foot on that land. Don't worry, you're not alone. It's odd to me, too. But all of my uncertainty is overpowered by my love of Uganda's people and the Lord who has given me this love and passion. I have dreamed of visiting this country for years, I have read books about it and ... I still dream of a land that is halfway around the world. And I truly believe that God will get me there. Somehow, some way"

I DREAM...

"Four years ago, my heart was completely and utterly shattered. And I thank the Lord that it was. I asked God to break my heart with what breaks His - and He did. Four years ago, I did not know that there are over 27 million slaves in the world right now. Four years ago, I thought America was the land of the free; I thought everyone was treated equally and fairly; I thought our days of owning one another had ended with the Emancipation Proclamation. I was wrong. But I refuse to allow this kind of atrocity to prevail in this world in which I live any longer. I am sick of it and I will work to end it. People have asked me if I really think that I can make any difference in such a big world and such a big problem. My answer is simple: I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me, because He has deemed human trafficking as my holy discontent for a purpose - and I will honor that."

DREAMING OF A FAR AWAY LAND 

"The people of a country I've never seen and people whose freedom is locked tight by another. I thought that these two passions were way too different to combine together, to share a blog. But then I started thinking. I have one purpose when working with both of these communities of people: to bring the hope and healing and love of God into their lives. I have two passions...so what? I have no doubt - in fact, I have complete faith - that the Lord will use both of them for His glory. I used to think that I had to choose one because I needed to give my entire life to one certain thing. I was wrong, again. My one purpose in life is to live for God and to work for the glory of His kingdom. I can do that wherever I am, in whatever I am doing. I know that there's a reason that I have a heart for both the people of Uganda and victims of human trafficking. If there weren't, God wouldn't have laid both so heavily on my heart.
 

So now dreaming of a far away land is about more than just Uganda and its people. This blog is about me living for Jesus, however that may be."

*     *     *     *     *

 In the past few months, everything surrounding this trip to Uganda that I am planning has just seemed to have fallen into place. And why wouldn't it? That's what I asked from God, and that's what He did for me as I said, "Yes" to each thing He placed in front of me. 

He Says, "Wait"...

 

"Throughout this past week, I have been constantly thinking about Uganda; a place I love but have never been. Uganda and its people have seemed to involuntarily invade my thoughts as nothing has before. So I began praying hard for this country and its people. Lord, what is it that You are trying to tell me? I was reminded of a book called Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis, one of my all-time favorite books, so I began reading . . . and reading . . . and reading. And so I prayed hard for Katie and her children and her ministry, Amazima Ministries. Then I was reminded of some friends of friends who are full-time missionaries in Uganda. So I prayed hard for Shawn and Sarah and their son and their ministry. Is this what You want, God? For me to pray for these people? But I wasn't at peace with just praying. So I emailed Sarah and asked a few questions about possibly spending some time there. I was met with great excitement and cooperation as she promised me that she'd research some ministries in Kampala, the capital of Uganda where Shawn and Sarah live, that work with prostitutes with whom I may be able to volunteer.  
Realizing that God may be calling me to go to a place I have been longing to go{FINALLY}, I introduced the idea to my mom {yet again}. By this time, I am very excited about the prospect of visiting and serving in this country that I've been in love with for years, but still have not had the privilege of stepping foot in.  

And, hearing nothing from the Lord, I became discouraged and whined and pleaded with Him to just tell me what He'd been trying to. Feeling prompted to continue reading, I started back at the beginning of Psalm 37 and, asking for wisdom and discernment, I read. 

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him . . .

I paused. 

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him . . .

Well, God, that's good and all but I just - 

Be still. {He interrupted me here.} 

But God, I'm not good at waiting.
 
Wait patiently. 

I can't. 

You can. 

But God - 

Stop. {Another interruption.} Just be still. Just wait for Me."

And so I waited. 


FROM MY JOURNAL: HE SAYS, "GO"

"'Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.' (Matthew 28:19-20)

As I was praying, You brought this verse to my mind, God. Specifically, the part that says, "Go". That's all I heard at first. Then the rest followed and I recognized the verse. But that first part: Go. That's pretty straightforward, isn't it? Everything's starting to add up, Lord, and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to understand Your all-awesome plan. I will go."

*     *     *     *     *

Today, I received an email from Abby, the woman in charge of A Perfect Injustice, the ministry that I am {hopefully} partnering with this fall, letting me know that she and her staff have been praying about approving my application and will let me know within the next 48 hours. 

{My heart is racing just thinking about it.} And yet I feel that everything that has brought me to this point in my life has been so amazingly orchestrated by God that I think it has to be His will. Either way, I am resting in His peace. 

This August I will be flying to Uganda, Africa for 3 months to work with former prostitutes to help them build a new life for themselves and their families by teaching English classes and leading Bible studies for the ladies. I will also be working with street children who have special needs (developmental disabilties, whether physical or mental, substance abuse issues, behavioral problems, etc.) by teaching swim lessons as a reward for good behavior. 

So here I am, waiting before the Lord to embark on this amazing journey, as He is showing me how beautifully my two passions {which I once deemed inappropriate to pair together} merge. How faithful is He!  

I am in the midst of planning this trip, acting completely on faith; faith that API will approve my application, faith that God will provide both financially and emotionally, faith that I will be safe half a world away from everything that is familiar. 

Please keep me in your prayers as I prepare lesson plans, Bible studies, etc. and work to raise/earn the money needed to make this trip a reality. Pray for guidance, compassion, peace, and strength as I prepare my heart to endure much more than anything I've ever had to before. 

If you would like to support me financially, please prayerfully consider donating to my youcaring.com page here.